I’m writing this as she’s taking her big girl shower by herself. Out of the blue, today, she hugged me and said, “stay for a long time and don’t leave me. You and Tatay, I don’t want you to leave.” Then she started crying and wouldn’t let me go, with her arms around my neck. I told her, “Emmanuelle, even when you find your ‘Prince and you’re the queen of your kingdom,’ Mama and Tatay will never leave you and always take care of you. Even when you become a Mama and have a baby, and live in your Hello Kitty house, we’ll always be there to love you. Childhood is a very funny thing, but I’m glad I know that when she was three, she loved me with the deepest love. Time goes by so fast. I cherish this girl with all my heart, even her emotional over-filled sentiments.
God is really faithful in helping me deal with these feelings for -p. i asked God to just help me to be more obedient to His timing and not to get myself all overexcited over my emotions and affections for him. He’s really teaching me how to be reasonable in romance and to wait for -p’s leading. i want to follow God’s ideal plan of courtship, and that must mean to wait until -p gets the go from God. 🙂 it’s somewhat new. but i’ve always told myself that God’s best won’t be like the rest. i will treat this with utmost respect and seriousness knowing in the end, our testimony will be one that gives glory to God. wow. am so excited. (*this was on private but i decided to post it publicly)
“God loves you, OK?” -p first thing that came into my head was, “yes I know God loves me. That is always true- He has such affection for me.” I turned off the computer and went upstairs feeling defeated. I believed God loved me yet I still felt that everything is all wrong. I took comfort in the fact that despite circumstances, at least God loved me. As I was about to sleep, I thought about it some more. It kept repeating in my head like a children’s Sunday school song- so simple yet there’s something buried deep inside it, one day hopefully revealed by a child who learns to search beyond the words. I saw the folly of my limited thinking. “Love” isn’t the mere capsule of human’s capacity or standard of love. But “love” in context of that sentence encompasses a deeper plight and purpose other than and including affection. “Love” is not just the obscure emotion as one can “love” a certain color or particular food. Instead, this “love” imitates that function of a verb- an action beyond the mushiness of the heart. Instead, it is the manifestation of the complex idea. And for me to agree […]