i miss ate grace and kuya rodel. they led the DVBS last year and it was always so much fun with them, seeing them smile, hearing their words of encouragment, making them laff. It’s still okeys this year, but i always admired their tag-team play :). kuya rodel, thank you for every word you have given me, from your blunt criticisms to your words of advice to your random teasings. you never miss an opportunity to pray for me at the most needed times. i remember when you had prayed for me & we both ended up crying. that will remain in my stories of you. ate grace. one song that always comes to mind when i think of you, “when praise demands a sacrifice”…you have been such an example for me in this. I’ve seen you go through so much with the music ministry and you have such great silent strength. you have always believed in me ate grace…even when i was younger and wasn’t that good in conducting or playing…thank you for the encouragement, for your smiles, your hugs, and your belief. i love you guys.
I see a lot of things these days. I hear various ideas and I think sometimes I, in paranoia, poison what can be conceived as innocent, as threats to my comfort. In conflict, I confuse pride with sensitivity, and humility with indifference. I just confuse myself and God’s investment in me. Then I stumbled on this while looking at an old picture of my praise team from college, which was inserted in my Bible as a sentimental bookmark: “Was it for nothing that I kept my heart pure and kept myself from doing wrong? All i get is trouble all day long; every morning brings me pain. Then I realized how bitter I had become, how pained i had been by all I had seen. I was so foolish and ignorant- I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you are holding my right hand. you will keep on guiding me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have i in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit my grow weak, but God remains the strenth of my […]
before 316 i confused beauty for Truth there was a Longing that i consoled through mediums of the senses before 14-6 the sun was the only true light & life until 146 pierced an elevated understanding that the Son is the only True Light & Life I was condemned in my innocence and sentenced to my complexity yet through adversity the cross spared my codemnation and granted an ambivalent complex simplicity In my sight i received Sight And a taste for a richer palate Things of gold became insipid currency worthless to buy essentials of what Really means “to be”. So at His feet i placed broken treasures of complacency comfort, and years of apathy. And in my hands, He gave me nails and a burden just enough to carry. But my heart burned like a refiner`s fire a rhythm matched w/a runner`s determination And a joy that my cross cannot compare to the triumph much too greater. So each day is a progressive suicide after a Birth that gave me Life. So this unresolved conflict scorches me onto a sunburned pavement. I`ve become the world`s pariah And everything God has created in me is twisted to contradict my plight. […]