Last night, we helped Emma record her honors choir regional audition. She is cut from my cloth, but woven intricately is something all different from me completely- her drive to put herself out there, her talents and abilities. She’s also been practicing daily for her audition with Violin Regionals. Even in elementary school, she auditioned for talent shows, singing competitions, violin parts; some she made and some from which she was rejected. But her resolve to do what is in her DNA still composes her resolutions, sometimes to my hesitance. I just don’t want her heart broken. But what is a broken heart? Throughout time, personal experience included, a broken heart was a key to something greater. Our hearts are not made to be kept perfectly whole. How else can things seep through and truly get to our core? These days, I admit, I pray more than I have prayed. By no merit of my own or discipline of my will, my prayer life has come what is a daily need. As a mother, I am finally at a mindset that I my control over things is so miniscule. So I turn to the giver of life. I turn to […]
Lately, our hearts are being tested. Perze and myself. I don’t know if it’s psychosomatic, but I haven’t been feeling all too comfortable. I break out into hives at the oddest times. I find myself praying more over requests than thanksgiving. I worry. But tonight, Elle asked me for a bedtime story. Without thinking, the first story that came out of my head was the story of Jesus on the boat with His disciples. In the storm. About perspective. About trust. About Jesus in control. There was one reality and two perspectives. The reality was the storm. One perspective was the collective fear from the disciples because of their shortsightedness. The other was the perspective Jesus held- when He knew 1) how the disciples felt 2) who was in control 3) and how it was going to end. He asked them, “why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” (Mark 4:40) You know Jesus was talking to me. You know it. I know it. He knows it. I’m still there, since I was 9. “STILL”. <still>NO FAITH</still> The disciples followed Him- physically, spoke with Him, ate with Him, listened and worked with Him, saw Him perform miracles […]
I want to share something wonderful tonight. (WARNING: It’s sort of long so I understand if you won’t finish reading). I finally watched the recent movie Les Miserables. Although I’ve read the novel, watched it on Broadway, saw past adaptations of the story on film, and memorized the musical score, tonight, I finally understood the last song “Epilogue”, or maybe tonight I didn’t take the last song for granted, but actually meditated on it rather than just be familiar with it. It wasn’t a reprise of “One Day More”, instead, the song explained the crux of the matter. Everything we live for, the beautiful, the plain, and the miserable, is one day more until what is truly to come. The lyrics resounded: Do you hear the people sing? Lost in the valley of the night It is the music of a people who are climbing to the light For the wretched of the earth there is a flame that never dies Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. They will live again in freedom in the garden of the Lord They will walk behind the ploughshed, the will put away the sword. The chain will […]
I was reading an article online and this line was incredibly poignant, saturated with truth that resonates in all of us, although most of us fail to dissect it within our own worth and purpose. YONNIE CHENG
Into my weakness, into my darkness Your Spirit’s moving upon my heart And You speak the words, “Let there be Light” – Hope of the Broken World In the beginning, amidst all the darkness, God said let there be Light. How fitting that in Genesis, God knew that Light was integral for life. He could have left everything in darkness and said that it was good. But it wasn’t. In our beginning, we were in darkness, and God said let there be Light when He sent His Son Jesus to save us from our sins. God knew that Jesus, the Light of the world is integral for life. He could have left us in darkness and said that it was good. But it wasn’t, and He didn’t. He is the Hope of this broken world.
This year alone, I have heard the news of people passing away- people who have left an imprint on me who I’ve always known to be admirable, spirit strong, integrity driven individuals who were called back Home. Last night, Tita Son passed away and she is in my memory as one of those strong individuals. Having grown up in the states brought the difficult challenge to spend time with my aunts, uncles, cousins. But those very few times, I’m glad Tita son reached out to know me and my young family. Once, we all went to Longwood Gardens, and I remember her walking and holding hands with Emma. It made me happy to see her fill in those missing gaps from my childhood, despite how short the visits were. It was always heart warming to hear her duets with mama as their similar laughter meld together. I cannot help but think that these are giants in my childhood that are now gone. Time is so fleeting, and those who were once pillars of strength have surrendered to death. My hope lies in my unwavering belief that there is a promise stronger than death, which lies further than the grave. My […]
Yesterday, one of the couple’s from church were given love gift$ because they were going to the Phils, finally after 20 yrs of waiting. It touched my heart that God’s body wanted to bless them. As a young couple, I’m always hoping Perze and I can bless people as well instead of hoarding things in our storehouse. It’s a great reminder to take steps of faith and bless people today instead of waiting to always be blessed. On the drive home, I was telling Perze about my burdens, questioning why people had it in them to give while other people don’t have the discernment to give back, instead, just take. To be honest, I know love should be given unconditionally, but it still makes me feel uneasy when people want you to do so much for them without even the thought of wanting to do the same for you. Why do people long for attention without giving attention to people who need it just the same? Through the years, I’ve grown to single out and appreciate the most, those who give…and I mean, those who give. Specific names pop out, unselfish souls who are giants in generousity, the ones […]