Our beloved Zienne turns 9 today. ? It’s funny; the moment I first laid my eyes upon her, my mind automatically raced to the future, and in a millisecond, I wondered what her smile will look like, how her voice will sound like, what idiosyncrasies will she develop. Then when she gets older, I forcibly make my mind focus only on the moments of her birth, longing to remember her scent, the tiny coos of unfamiliarity, her confused gazes to the world around around her, and the small changes of her visage. We have come to NINE, + as much as I go back to her birth day, I look at who she is now and rejoice. Zienne is my little budding perfectionist- in school, in music, in learning new skills- she chases after things with fervor. Her resolve is so admirable. But what I love most this year is Zienne’s growth in opening up. Zi is more reserved, observant and analytical. But this year, her mind is starting to verbalize how she makes sense of her world through her feelings, and I love the new dimensions in our dialogue, a deeper understanding of how she processes things and how […]
Happy birthday to my mom, who has been the catalyst of all things dear to my siblings + me. Since I can remember, she is one not in the fashion to spend on herself; she’d indulge on other things like projects- sewing, crafting, gardening- making beauty out of very ordinary things. Every spring, I’d walk through her garden to look at the old + new flowers that she has taken time to care for, + I’m amazed with how many of them have survived the transplanting. So today, I know she will probably be giving more than treating herself to something. Happy birthday, Ma. We celebrate with you today even though we can’t be there. We are praying for you and hope your 70th year reminds you of all that you have given of yourself to those that love you. Your arduous labor is not in vain + your example shows even through your grandchildren. Love you, Ma.
Happy birthday to my husband ?- a man who, ever since I’ve known him, has been a steady compass in character, who changes with the seasons only to grow more acutely to what is good. His unwavering genuineness never changes upon his company, + he is esteemed by those who work with him + those he mentors. He continues to give to what he deems important without question + is my strongest partner in laughter. Love you, mahal.
Saturday was an eventful day, as we witnessed two amazing friends start their lives in marriage. I walked partnered with Rogie, as her two youth leaders during her teenage years, so memories of her with the youth came in like floodgates. Seeing her strength and resilience, her unwavering love, faithfulness, and service to God made me admire the woman she has become. Also, I remember one of the first interactions I had with Ben; Rogie + I sat with him during Agape in church and interviewed him, seeing what his intentions were with Sarah. With a penchant for learning, literature, and education, seeing these two serve together in the church shows their partnership- going beyond themselves and having a purpose as a team, something I’ve always admired in young couples. Sarah + Ben, congrats guys. We love you both! Perze + I were so honored, by the way, singing the song you chose. It has become a beacon and a promise I remind myself in odd times- “His love is strong.”
Did I mention that Emma tried out for Orchestra Regionals? This was her first year. Emma said she made tons of mistakes. However, we as her parents, made mistakes as well, as it was OUR first time having our daughter try out. We’ll get to that. Since fall started, Emma’s been learning her piece, Nardini’s 1st movement of Concerto in E Minor. Initially, she wasn’t so keen on the music. I couldn’t really blame her since I also didn’t like it all that much. Musically, it was tough on the ears at first- the sporadic timing and changing of eighth, sixteenth notes, triplets, trills…etc. and an aggressive melody in a minor key. She hated practicing it because the timing just didn’t make sense to her. But things changed in December-January when she really started finishing the song, when she became more confident in playing the song. She still had some timing issues, but there were actually places in the music where she soared. The day of the auditions, Perze and I made mistakes helping her find the scales and parts of the solo that she had to play for the judges. I think if she had that bit of information, […]
I have this persistent fear that comes every now and then. It starts from the very pit of my core every time anxiety over something I’m scared of going through enters my brain. The rest of my body follows the path that eventually leads in palpitations and imaginary scenarios of the worst things that can happen. Then my faith surges and tries to wield off my head, to get my body to calm down. For the most part, the best it can do is calm the surface, but I know the fears are all still there, as real as the present. This has been my new norm last year, and I keep reminding myself that this life isn’t mine, and this life is temporary. I can only live for today and give abounding thanks for what I have been blessed with. Grace- that ever so fine strings that holds me up. As I get older, the more I fear. Like tonight, sometimes I can’t even say what I fear although I can readily make up a list as I go. I just don’t want to give them a name to write out. It will pass. It will pass. And after […]
I’ve been sick in bed for 3 days now. Elle finally couldn’t take my absence, so she came in the room crying for me to get better so she can finally hug me. She said she almost started crying in school just remembering me sick at home. After a small reassuring talk, she left the room. An hour later, she came back into the room and asked if she can pray for me, and so she did. Warms my heart. What I love most about having girls is their extremely open loving nature and easy feeling to communicate verbally. My girls always ask me for quality time, when they want me to hug them on my bed, just talking. They will ask me questions and it becomes a time when they can feel safe opening up something that’s in their minds, and I can verbalize how much they are loved. Elle is our most emotionally needy- she lives by hugs, so when I was sick and wasn’t able to hug me, she had such a hard time. My love.