he said / she said mode on…
One Ordinary Day, Not So Ordinary:
There was this one particular day that I remember. It was just like any other day. It was particularly a sunday. I woke up pretty early to go to haverford and prepare for that day’s morning worship. I was looking forward to an event later in the day. That afternoon, I accepted an invitation to visit another church and attend some sort of a praise and worship event.
That’s when I met her. She wore jeans and a white blouse. She came over and introduced herself and left right away because she still needs to practice. After the event, everybody went downstairs for some refreshments. I ended up talking to her. It was your regular Hi’s and Hello’s.
Because of a Song:
Out of the blue, I decided to show off and told her, “hey, you wanna listen to my song?” She replied yes and did something that threw me off the wall. She told everybody in that room that I am singing my song and asked everyone if they want to hear it. Great. Just Great. Well, the cat is out of the bag so all I could do is wail and scream like any cat would when surrounded by a pack of dogs … in a form of a song of course. After my song everyone else jumped and sang their song. When it came for her to sing her song, I was dumbfounded. It was the saddest most beautiful song in the world. It was saying that goodbye’s are not the end of things. My melancho-phlegmatic nature got so excited to a point where that song kept playing over and over on my head.
I can probably say that from that moment I just can’t stop thinking about her. Days passed, turning into weeks and months. We’ve seen each other more and more. A movie here, a cup of clam chowder there, roller blading, volleyball, song writing, long drives, 10 mile walks, yada yada.
Where Home Was:
The turning point was when I had to go away for three weeks. I went home, and I plainly told everyone that … yeah I have a girlfriend and she is so cool, pretty and I’m going marry her. Well all of it was true except for the girlfriend part. Three weeks passed and there wasn’t a day that I longed for her. Ever heard of the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder?” . I felt something like that … only … on crack. I suddenly realized that I’ve fallen for her and if I don’t tell her how I felt, I’d implode. So I did just that. I told her that I loved her. I got back from my trip on sunday met up with her and a bunch of friends I really wanted to tell her how I felt but I wanted it to be special. So I told her that I loved her when we were on our way to Boston Market to get our lunch. I was planning a sort of shock and awe approach, got the shock part pretty well and kinda faltered in the awe department.
But let me retrace my steps before I met Perze. Most of my friends will vouch for me when I say that before meeting him, I was praying for singleness; basically, I didn’t want to get married. Even the kids in my church at that time knew this personal wish of mine.
But like always, God has other plans, and one day I decided to sign up for Xanga, an online blogging community where I wanted to meet other people through writing. After months of being a member, I looked around other people’s pages through ‘groups.’ I noticed that a lot of the friends that I had made had a common friend in this person named Perze- an odd name that I took to curiosity, for the mere fact that I also had an odd name. After reading his page, void of any pictures or personal basic information, I was really impressed by how he wrote, mainly his devotions, his very simple humility, and quirky humor. I also found out that we both had something else in common aside from our love for God, the fact that we were both praise leaders at that time. So I decided to comment him, thinking that he was probably never going to answer back because of some online popularity, but knowing what I know now about him, he’s still the same- so welcoming to people…and that’s how our correspondence started, and continued.
BOY MEETS GIRL…IN PERSON:
I believe the same month, I invited him to our youth pre-BASIC. With hesitation, of course, because I still wasn’t informed about his age or who he really was, but there was something so positive about him that I felt safe knowing that it was during a church function where I had asked one of my closest friends- Rogie, to entertain him instead of me. That pre-BASIC, I remember practicing on stage a praise set and he walked it, spiffed up wearing baby blue and black, clean cut and nerdy. I admit, as did others, that at a distance, I though he was one of my friends who resembled him, but then I realized he was- Perze…the Xanga Perze…
I hardly talked to him that day. I sent out the bulldogs, my brothers in Christ, to talk to him, but I did end up finding out that we had something else in common too- he was a fellow songwriter. 🙂 … That night we ended up sharing songs with a small group.
A PRAYERFUL SEASON OF FRIENDSHIP:
A friend invited him to our church retreat the next week, but luckily, he declined. Again, I really was in no interest to start any relationship w/ him, but as the weeks grew, so did our friendship, and we had a great season of JUST friendship. I’m really thankful for that…where it was honestly a season of praying for him without telling him, without initiating ANY romance…but i’m glad we had a season to pray and think and get to know each other. I really believe that was one of the sweetest times i spent walking w/ God, solidifying that my happiness and contentment really stood in my relationship w/ God and not with Perze. I came to know God’s heart for me…and I’m thankful that he also gave me that season for myself, without having to rush me or manipulate my emotions or my heart.
HE FOLLOWS GOD, THEN I FOLLOW HIM:
I found out much later, while into our relationship, that during our season of friendship, he was also praying for me in secret. I remember my prayers at that time was that God would stop Perze from telling me any feelings until Perze spoke to him about me, and I was resolved never to initiate that “talk” and would follow Perze’s lead.
The turning point came the night before he went home to the Phils. for vacation. We ended up walking for hours, talking about anything but the pink elephant walking in front of us. Finally, right before wrapping up the night, we stopped acting like poultry (hence our well known “CHICKEN DAY”) and he finally revealed his heart for me. We had a lot of reservations, only because of circumstance, but we took that leap of faith because we had already prayed about God’s will and still, God made a way and resolved all that we had been praying about.
While waiting for Perze to come back from the Phils., I continued to pray about him, and confirmed it that he was really the one God had in store for me. I know it’s unconventional, but I honestly had this undoubting conviction that he was “the One, ” even though we weren’t dating yet. But God affirmed it when Perze came home. I saw him the day he came back, on twelvesixteen, and before we went on our first official date, Perze stopped me and said, “I love you.” I smiled and took out a long letter I had written him while he was away. He read it in haste, and stopped at the end, when I wrote, “I love you.”
And that day was the first time it was ever spoken. He had said it first, and I felt the same way…and not because of a reaction.
The day after twelvesixteen, out of the blue, without any previous conversation about the topic, he blurted, “so when do you want to get married?”