the grass is greener on the other side. i miss my friends in north jersey. that’s where i want to be this fall. i get so discouraged here. there’s no one to trust, no one to drive around with and talk to, no one who’ll share a barnes and nobles moment of chai, and no one who will drop pretenses during a quick lunch.
an hour and a half i got off work an hour & a 1/2 early. i felt so giddy when i got 2 my car; imagining the possibilities of a perfect weathered day. i rolled down my windows & set the digicam on my dashboard. Set to timer, i decided 2 drive down the open fields near where i worked & took random pictures of what i saw- peace. these days have been extremely tiring. something every nite 2 follow something every day. & i`ve been thinking 2 much lately…repercussion of driving. but the retreat i went on this past weekend really straightened out a lot of questions i had, & it became a time when God just pulled me out of some of my internal madness. things have yet still to iron themselves out, but i`m learning more & more of God`s desire 2 let me know His plans 4 me… ______________________________________ things that got made me smile this week: – browsing through the Hallmark card section. – coming out of the Barnes and Nobles having bought a book- “Ruthless Trust” – getting off work an hour and a half early, which gave me opportunity to drive [window down, […]
i had such a great time today. today started with a breakfast at a deptford diner with my friend Rogie. over bagel and coffee, we talked of many things. mainly things of encouragement. of wonderwoman, and superman, of ava savalot, and REG. tho most of the time, he puts himself down, i am really proud of him. i’m so glad God brought him to our church. Tho rogie would disagree, God really did so much thru him. also, i had dinner with Ate Ching…she had me drive her car to Tokyo Mandarin. this was such a pleasant time, chatting about church, her kids, my life, and juste les choses de la coeur…surprisingly enough, it was refreshing to open up to ate ching. i know she has my best interests…amidst our unforgettable conversation, she told me some sad news…but despite my apprehensive spirit, i know God is in control. also, her munchkins came over my house and just filled my basement with such adorable smiles and comments…they all told me tho that they all listened to the cd i had made them, every night! awe. i was touched.
i dream of bringing on the lyrical battle with Teyga a pimple out of a pore?/ are you sure- it ain`t the other way around?/ like i`ma bust on you with my feet on your floor?/ i`ll be the crashing waves poundin` on your lyrical shore/ more and more/ until you`re vision get`s a lil` crazy and i gotcha seeing four/ your mission`s gettin` a lil` hazy/ i`m supposed to feel threatened/ instead i`m bein` bullied by a baby/ maybe/ you need to take some classes/ get you free passes to jake`s rudeness 101 opent`the masses/ you`ll learnhowto throw decent punches/but i`llstill beat you no matter how good your stance is/ i`ll be like yoda doing dances around you while you`re taking chances on winning/give it up Darth Teya/ it`s futile trying to beat my jedi mind tricks/ but i`ll keep tellin`you till the truth sticks/ like cement on your denial bricks/ so, i guess it`s time for you to try again/ rating, i`ll be waiting for a decent 5 outta 10/ ya think you can handle that? til`then, i`ll be round the AA bend/ write your little rhyme/ pray, then click on send/ hahaha
under an empty chasm fetus-like from your silence aged to your experience born only to the ocean and spat to the shore coughing for the waves a bird who longs to swim
***beep, beep, beep*** chesa:: hello? hello? pam? hello? ugh! *redial* pam:: hello? chesa:: hello? pam:: he~llo~~? chesa:: hello? pam? pam:: hello? chesa:: hello? pam? pam:: hello? ya? chesa:: my phone’s gonna die so here’s the number… pam:: huh? what? you’re breaking… chesa:: hello? *beep, beep, beep* (phone hangs up) chesa:: ugh!!! *puts phone down while driving* chesa:: (looking at her phone) wait til i get a new phone! you are soooo gone… *phone says nothing back* chesa:: why can’t you work for me? at least for over 10 minutes??? what in the world? *phone continues in silence* chesa:: (looks back at the phone) oooo…watch..i’m soooo gonna get rid of you soon…you are so gone. ********************************* things are bad when you start talking to inanimate objects… ********************************** |0726| dear friends i know i haven`t been updating. if you saw my schedule, you`d see why. the past 3 weeks have been grueling, but God is still good, i believe. there`s so much work 2 be done 4 BASIC, so if anyone wants 2 help out, please contact me. it would be greatly appreciated…all planning 4 it have been detered from a passing away of one of our dearest brothers in Christ & […]
i want to write this before the moment passes and my senses are diluted with distractions. tonite was day 5 of DVBS. This is usually the hardest day for me cuz i have to fit a lesson in, as well as stressing the importance of salvation. I’ve had the same kids for four years now, and i’ve seen them all grow in their salvation, and i didn’t know how i was going to convey God’s love to them in a newer light, in a different angle. So i turned off the lights at the end of our Bible study and asked them to listen to a song. “Love Song” by Third Day. After they listened to it, i asked them for their personal interpretations to which they unanimously responded of a man who loved God so much that he would do anything just to be with Him. After i gave them a chance to respond, i shared a personal story of how i came to hear the song and what the song represented in my life- a time of sadness and desperation, a season that encompassed my weakness and strength, a time of pivotal understanding that no matter what happens […]