Closing my 39.

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You know how people try to “bless shame” others, calling them out on a humble brag? Well, I guess there’s some truth to that, but when I’m closing out on 39, reflecting on my little corner of this  universe, how else can i describe my life? Imperfect- yes. Present with struggles- yes. Not the most healthy- yes. Trying to maneuver parenting- yes. Raising a teenager- yes. But BLESSED? – YYYYESSSS! 

Our lives are not problem free- from drama in church, to having our pastor resign, to raising a 13 year old with crushes and motivating the girls to be their better selves, to living on a one income household, to holding onto our commitments in ministry while trying to encourage the body to keep serving, to bodies that ache, to dealing with familial struggles outside of our home, to keeping up with menial household responsibilities to upkeep our house’s needs, while maintaining a balance for our family to connect and make lasting memories.

But I cling to God’s goodness, that we have a home, we are fed, we get sleep.  Our kids go to a great school where their teachers care so much for their education, where they have strong friendships.  I am blessed with Perze- my best friend, who tries every day, in his nature, to take care of me and loves being home with us, who switches places with me + hold my hand when I’m walking close to the traffic, and shares cooking responsibilities every now and then, who hardly complains about my wild imperfections, who is one of my most patient men I know.  I’m just blessed with love, seeing the years pass, with eyes that have seen the outlines of God’s fingers working upon the things that could have stung our family.  He has softened our hearts for each other, for our daughters, for our friends, our families, our church…He continues to supply hope in challenging times…

Truly, the longer I serve Him, the sweeter He grows. You can shame the word blessed, but I can never be ashamed to proclaim it.

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