I can’t sleep.

So many things weighing so heavy in my heart right now and my brain keeps making arguments back and forth. On different things. On unrelated things. But things. Things that I’m trying to sort out. Things I’m trying to remain fair, and calm, and asking what would Jesus do.  I’m trying not to feel hurt, not to take things personally. I’m trying to understand my worth and unworth.

Also, with the political climate these days, I’m trying to understand what God is trying to really mean when He says to love. Love others we know. Love those that hate us. Love those we don’t know. What does neighbor mean, and even loving our enemies. Love is absolute, but we put parameters on it, as if we know the boundaries of love- it’s to make people act like us (sarcasm). 

We impose our rights and withhold others’ rights, and say it is because that’s how God would have wanted it. My mind is tired from taking sides. To where has reasoning fled? 

Have we ever loved people who have gotten abortions and why they had to do it?

Do you have any gay brothers or friends who you love and have known your whole life?

Do you know any immigrants and their story?

Do you know what it’s like to be a refugee of a war torn country who fears for the next day?

Have you ever been discriminated against because of your ethnicity?

Have you ever grown up with or love someone who is a Muslim?

If you answer no and feel like you have the right to make laws that affect their lives and family’s lives, how are you showing love? How is taking away their rights loving? How are you pro life? 

In addition, I keep trying to keep my mouth shut on Facebook to be respectful of people who have voted for Trump, yet people who I’m giving respect to can post things like “stop saying this that are divisive”, just inciting more division in the social media sphere. But what is your president doing? Isn’t this the most hypocritical thing to request when you’ve just put the most divisive man in America in power? How are people supposed to react? Without protest? Without a voice? Without criticism?