Summer days, slowly dwindling to a stop. I’m not ready for the busyness of fall & multiple schedules. Also not ready for Zi to go into PreK.
This morning, as I crawled into their twin sized bed, sandwiched between their two sinuous still half asleep little bodies, I asked Zi if she was ready to go to PreK in a couple of weeks. She said, “yes.” Emma chimed, “even without Ate in your bus?”
“Even without Ate in my bus.”
I was afraid to ask her, “even without Mamam next to you?” I knew she’d brush it away and pretend to put her big girl pants on and console me that she would be fine, but then end up pondering over that reality that for a few hours every day, she had no choice but to mingle with strangers, without her mom.
I always feel like I have had the least time with Zienne. Middle child syndrome. Having had Elleonai, Zi was always entrusted to Emma’s company. She had to grow up faster, graduating to sleeping in their room at an earlier age. When I had Zienne, I always promised Emma we would have quality time to spend together, talking, cuddling- and I’ve kept to that promise. But I’ve failed to even make that promise to Zienne where it’s just her and me- no Ate, no Elle.
So here goes another change and another conscious effort to plan these times for my daughters. It’s difficult when the baby demands most of my time, arguing with blatant screams that I belong to her first.
So, my little kitty, Zienne Noelle. I promise you, before you go off to PreK, just like we did for Ate Emma, a fun filled day, and one on one time with me. I cherished your early years and felt it went by the fastest. How I was amazed by you- your mind, and the things you would say- even at two, you were so eloquent and witty. Even in your DVBS class, your teacher said it was a blessing to have you there. I’m excited for you, little one- for all the things you’ll learn and the stories you’ll take home. Now you won’t have to just listen to Ate’s adventures and funny stories, you’ll contribute your own and entertain your older sister.
To greater things, sweetheart!