I can’t stop looking at Zienne.  Her baby lips are so adorable, so innocent. and the way she loves just being held, looking up at me with a quiet mesmerizing smile, is Christmas every day.

Lately, the topic of stay at home moms keep coming up, with news of working moms choosing to stay home and take care of their very young kids.  To be honest, one of these women, I would never have thought of choosing that path, being very work driven, but her explanation of not wanting to lose those years with her young children, and seeing the importance of being with them at such a young age surprised me.  I actually gave her a lot of credit for her courage and faith, courage to let go of her position, courage of staying home every day to take care of her young children, etc. and faith that financially, they’ll take a loss.

When I first became pregnant with Emma, numerous veterans in motherhood advised me the best choice was to stay home and raise the kids because the days and years go by so fast.  Very very few recommended me to work, one being my parents. But I understood their perspective because they’ve successfully been able to raise a family of four kids just by themselves, taking turns working day and night shifts.  They’ve sacrificed a lot, but I know it’s because we didn’t have a lot. But looking retrospectively, they’ve successfully raised four educated, well respectful individuals. I wonder, had their opportunities and circumstances been different, if they would have chosen the same path.  I appreciate those parents who have to sacrifice that time with their kids, to work so they can provide for them.  But I also really appreciate those parents who have the choice and choose to take care of their young kids.  I’m not making a judgment; this is just how I see it.  It’s not a general statement or the be all and end all conclusion that every mom should stay at home if they can, because everyone is different, but I also cannot say that those stay-at-home-moms don’t deserve much appreciation.  They’ve sacrificed a big part of their life as well, which is something that not too many people may account or admit.

But stay-at-home, not stay-at-home, choice or no choice, opportunity or none, I can say one thing that I know for sure, when I’m near the end of my life, I’ll turn to my husband and owe him everything because of the time he gave me to be with my children for their short season of childhood.  That is the most priceless and most expensive gift he has ever given me and I will always be grateful.  It is a love language all in its own and in our old age, I hope I can make it up to him.

And one thing more, as much as I appreciate and immensely thank my parents for sacrificing so much for us, for choosing to work so they can take care of us, one of the things I will never ever forget as their child, I’m thankful for this path that God has given perze and me, being able to stay at home with Em and Zi while Perze can provide for us financially.  One choice is not better than the other, and I know not everyone has the option to choose,  but there is not one single moment when I look at the beauty of my children, amazed by who they are and what they do and say, that I don’t thank God for one of the greatest blessings in He’s given me in my life- giving me this time to raise them.