So last night, Emma was a bit silent before bedtime, and Zi was already sleeping.  I asked Em about her pensiveness and she said “I’m thinking about Zi.”  She explained that she was sad upon thinking of the time when Zi would “be big like Mama and she will have a baby.  She will have a new family and will leave me.”

Wow. I was floored that such far sighted thoughts resided in my four year old’s head.  I honestly didn’t know how to answer such a sensitive topic, yet remain as honest and mature as possible.  You see, ever since we found out we were pregnant, Emma has stayed so close to her younger sister, being surprisingly nurturing, giving, and loving.  Sometimes, she even asks Perze if he misses his Mama and Tatay (dad), consoling him by saying we’ll take a plane to the Philippines to visit them.  I guess she picked up on the reality that sometimes you leave your old family when you get married and have a new family.

So I told her, even if Zi will have a new family when she becomes a Mama, her old family will never change and will always be there for Zi.  She will have the same Mama, Tatay, Lolo, Lola, and Ate Emma.  This brought about more questions from Emma, confirming that Zi won’t get a new mama or tatay or Emma.  It made me really question the source of Em’s insecurity.  She seemed truly sad thinking about Zi’s future, wondering if she’d be absent in Zi’s life when Zi becomes a mom.

Emma is very mature in her emotions sometimes, but it makes me pray for her more, thinking she’s going to have many heartbreaks in her life.  Discussing it with Perze, we can only hope she learns to cling to God during those moments, to make her strong.

I love you emmanuelle…I’m sorry I might have passed my introspective nature to you…don’t think too much baby. Just enjoy your childhood for now.

• Tags: conversations, emma, zem