I was having lunch with a friend and we got into the topic of how men handle their first baby. I mentioned how thankful I was for Perze’s complete involvement to take care of me as well as tackle the responsibilities for a newborn. Call it the baby blues, but I had subtle effects post-childbirth, amplifying my insecurities as a first time mom. Milk production hadn’t kicked in yet, I wasn’t expecting bottlefeeding, and running on minimal sleep made me extremely scared that I wouldn’t be able to take care of her in case I was desperate for rest. Additionally, I didn’t yet know how to read her cries.
Retrospectively, I really thank God that Perze took control those first few weeks, until I had the revelation that many women had already successfully walked in my shoes, and that it was my turn to be a mom. But during those insecure moments I experienced, Perze had the joy of holding her when she was awake, the joy of feeding her when she was hungry, the joy of rocking her when she was cranky, and even the joy of changing her multiple times when she was dirty. I never had to teach or tell Perze what to do; in fact, I learned a lot of practical things from him.
For my first few days, I even felt inadequate to change her diaper…but looking back at it now, I’m really blessed that Perze was already a loving father.
She’s three now, and I’ve quickly gotten better in my role as Zem’s mom, reading her cries and teaching her so many of her firsts, but I’m still really in admiration every time I see the connection Emma has with her Tatay. I know not many people get to see them in the secret mundane moments, but Emma has really grown to love her her Tatay, playing with him after he gets home, getting so excited when he walks through the door, and even the conversations we have about him.
Look how much he loves her.