looking back

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unfortunately, i don’t have a piano/keyboard here at our place since our neighbors would probably only complain about it and call it a cacophony istead of music. so when i go to SJ, i discipline myself to practice, to get back to my level of sightreading and adlibbing. if there is one thing i need to pass down to emma, it’s music theory. i’ve been able to appreciate music more because of it, and i hope one day emma will use it in her ministries.

there’s a lot of things that have come up for perze and me, and i’m really praying that God will make a way for us these next few months. as usual, there’s change involved and seemingly each year we go through this stage of faith. confidently, i can truly attest to the great demands life has led us to at the moment we met, and our stages allow me to visually map out year by year.

2002: we met
2003: we courted: his pending visa; his job contract was ending
2004: we were married: our application for his visa, my finishing college, we found out during thanksgiving that we were pregnant
2005: we were parents: we were approved for his immigration status; i graduated in a year, something that they said should have taken two years; we moved north; perze’s company was bought out and needed a new job now with new demands of the baby
2006: we’re a family: perze was offered a job at NYTimes

all this happened in four years. such responsibility in four years, but i guess i seemed fit to be ready, although if you told me all this when i was 23, my faith would have hesitated to believe. But i believe in prayer. i do. i believe that God blesses the lives of those who seek to do His will. It’s not always easy and life doesn’t just glide along. We’ve had our share of not knowing where we’ll be, how we’ll provide financially, and even how we’ll be together, but i believe in miracles because i’ve seen roads made where there were no outlets, triumphs out of impossiblities. Just have to be faithful and obey. God knows what’s best for you, even if sometimes it may not be what we want. Do what is right, God will bless your obedience.

I think i’ve come a long way from being that young girl who felt so lost because tomorrow never hinted at what it would bring. I’ve changed to allow God to have the bird’s eye view at life’s curves and corners. I can’t say i am always free from worry, but really, looking back at those things, looking back at the things i didn’t know i could ever handle, i feel very humbled. Now new things shift again and i have more of a welcoming attitude, knowing i have a lot of support, and i have a mighty God who knows my name personally and lovingly.

*look at my girl at the right….she is such and such the manifestation of that promise. she is a watermark.
143 anak…

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