so here i am at 8.5 months: i weight 138 lbs. which means i’ve gained almost 30 lbs. since i got pregnant. they’ve increased the number of times i have to get my NST since they want to closely monitor her heartbeat and the placenta, just to make sure she’s getting enough oxygen, and that the fluid around her is sufficient. she’s 4 lbs. now, which is good since she can survive at that weight if ever she ceases to grow and i need to be induced to giving birth. Although she is of low birth weight, there have been many successful cases where a 4 lb. baby has been delivered, so i am not worried. when i go to my checkups and ultrasounds, her heartbeat is always steady, and to see her heartbeat is so amazing because i know she’s being well taken care of in there. Not only does she function, but i know she has a lovely personality already. She knows when to make a scene, and when to be shy. She knows when i’m resting and when she needs attention. the 2x a week hospital visits are inconvient right now because now i have to stay […]

Friendliness Helps: When you’re new to the pregnancy scene, you’ll find yourself having to deal with a lot of medical people- those who you have to build a comfort and trust with, since you’ll be literally baring yourself to them. All the Expectant Mother books and magazines always commence your pregnancy journey by advising that you find an OB/GYN who you can be very comfortable around with, someone who will be friendly enough to give you time and care, and will take you step by step your 40 weeks, with a caring staff who’ll answer your questions and provide your needs. i’ve been really blessed to have not had to shop around, since the ladies of the place i go to for check ups exude friendliness, esp. the doctors that i have to regularly see. They’re not stoic nor condescending, but they realize how inexperienced I am to the whole thing, and reassure me about proceedures and concerns. Note to self: send gift basket to ladies at Plaza 4.

i look outside the balcony window and see the tree that first had pink blossoms clingling to the branches the first time we moved in. Now the blossoms have matured into white flowers that daily fall off their temporary home. The wind makes them dance a while before hitting the ground. It looks beautiful from inside, from our newly moved in apartment, sitting on our assembled neutral colored futon adorned with feminine cream and old rose pillows. i imagine myself, a young mother, holding a tiny baby girl under the shade, with her soft hair being softly caressed by God’s breath. And although she may not know what she’s thinking, she smiles by design, because there’s a feeling of love, a feeling she may not entirely know of and understand, but she feels it nonetheless. it’s the same feeling she gets when her dad tickles her toes and nubs her nose and picks her up when she cries. i know bad times will come, and scenes aren’t always so beautiful, but for now, this is what i imagine when i look outside our balcony window. listening to: You Made me Love YouF Crystal Gayle

as much as i love having emma kicking at me, and i can see my stomach every now and then pulsing with her movements, there are some negatives to pregnancy, esp. during the 3rd trimester: 1. lower back pain 2. sleeping discomfort, difficulty in turning and rolling 3. forget sleeping on your stomach for a while 4. trouble bending (limits cleaning, putting on shoes, socks, pants) 5. having to wear bottoms 6. sweet tooth kicking in 7. having your heels hurt even from a short stroll 8. not feeling all together glamorous 9. seeing how much you’ve physically changed, knowing you’ve gained 25+ lbs. 10. needing to crave water every 20 minutes, then needing to pee every 15… 11. needing to pee every 15 min. 12. being told not to carry things, knowing you can’t carry heavy things anymore although you know you’re stronger than linda carter 13. people constantly asking you when you’re due 14. people staring at you, with their eyes gradually travelling down to gaze at your stomach 15. stretchmarks 16. having trouble getting up from sitting, getting out of the car, getting out of bed 17. not being able to run, play with the kids, rollerblade, […]

she’s kicking me as i write this entry. she’s very fiesty this morning for some reason. yesterday was my first unofficial mother’s day. although she is not fully outside of my stomach, i still consider myself a mom, only because my mindset has been conclusively programmed already on protection and provision mode for this little one inside me. it was sweet how my siblings gave me a card during our family cabin trip this weekend, and although i had missed the mother’s day program that our church celebrates annually, the youth gave me a special cell call to greet me. i was able to go to my OB/GYN last week, as well as perform the NST and ultrasound for Emma/Noe, and the results were positive. My doctor gave me sensational news that relieved our worries of her low weight from my previous exam. From 1.16 lbs, she is now a healthy 3.4 lbs. with 1.5 months to go. Research says that babies experience the biggest growth spurt the remaining 2 months so by the time i give birth, emma will hopefully have grown to her full weight of a normal 6lbs or a little less. the doctor assumes that since […]