faith in extreme pain, part 1

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I remember a time when I was going through so much change in my life to a point that everything seems to have required change. Those changes have brought me to my knees because of the pain that has really struck to where I was most vulnerable. The grief of just merely living almost overwhelmed me to the point of deciding not to live anymore has been an option.

I asked God so many questions which have not been directly unanswered yet He still continues to show me His faithfulness. At this point all my preconceived notions of who God is and should be have been destroyed. I realized that for me God was some sort of divine-good-works-slotted-vending-machine. And it took Him to let me through that kind of pain to re-establish the meaning of what He really is and how I should treat Him. As my Saviour, Friend, Sovereign and the Lord of my life. A life that he requires to be like Him, a life of holiness because He is indeed Holy.

In the midst of pain, people often think that God has departed them, I certainly did. You see, our view of God is always changing, but He never changes, He is the same today, yesterday and forever. It takes great faith to stay in our beliefs as Christ wrenches our false beliefs of how He should be and as we grow in Him we learn what He really is and how He should be treated. Don’t get me wrong, God doesn’t destroy our ideas the way some people give away the ending of a good movie, instead He lovingly takes away our vending machine mentality so that we can have and experience who He really is.

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