i really praise God for the things He’s done in my life…for what He’s given me, for those He’s given me, for the things He’s let me endure, even for teaching me to cry. He’s really raised my life from a little girl. I used to look at everyone older than me, everyone who could sing a lot better, play a lot nicer, teach and preach, and lead, and i wondered why God gave me a desire bigger than what my hands can carry. But along the way, I remember verses that i clung to when there was too much unfairness, or discouragement…He told me to wait, and i know He’s still telling me to wait. I still feel like a little girl trying to grow into the shoes i want to wear for His glory. I sometimes fool myself and others by showing them, pointing down to the shoes that are still a little big for me.

i think God is trying to teach me to walk in my own shoes. to walk what He has given me for now. to be patient. to be content with what i can do.

sometimes it’s hard being a young christian these days. you always end up comparing yourself to those around you. “can i serve like him?” “can i be as eloquent as her?” “can i be as intillegent with the Word?” “will people listen to me as they do to him?”

sometimes even praise and worship gets competitive between praise teams, churches, leaders…and leaders can’t get along with other leaders. the youth believe that they don’t measure up because of their age and ability.

i guess it’s just a human tendency to want….then to want more…to have more than others, to compare…to have the best…to be the best…

so i just want to stop here and thank God for the shoes He’s allowed me to fill so far, and for the life that’s a perfect fit. For even all this, all i have, is by His grace. It is something i have not earned, nor something i deserve.