after birthday

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today, i woke up and sat on my bed. the first thing i did was smile and pray for you.

thank you for taking me out for my birthday…and for not taking me out on the actual day, but the day after it. dun ask me why this made a difference to me, but somehow, in words i don’t want to try to describe, it has.

what i appreciated was when you tapped my head while i was curled near you…hiding from the unexpected thriller of “Signs”.

what i admired was your calmness when i told you about how i felt that night about my disturbance with information you witheld from me. i wish there was a way i could capture your expression that nite in my LG cell phone.

there are so many things i want to say to you, but i’m gonna have to wait until God allows me to open the floodgates. there are so many things i want to tell you and reveal about myself. i can only pray tho that you can accept me…never have i been scared for someone to know me, because i just don’t want to lose you.

something i’ve never thot of before:

what if i lost you?
what if tomorrow you weren’t in my life? what if you were to leave permanently? would i try to hold on to you and tell you everything i feel? everything about me? every piece of hope i’ve been building for us?

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